The 3 Levels of Awareness

When you communicate a message to someone, three levels of awareness are at play at the same time:

• objective reality - what the person actually sees and hears happening
• interpretation - how they make sense of what they hear and see
• the individual - how they react to what they see and hear

Getting the message across depends on the level of awareness you have while you are in conversation.

The 4 Principles of Good Listening

There are four underlying principles upon which good listening is based.  If these principles are adopted we immediately become better listeners.

Commitment
If we are committed to communication then the effectiveness of our listening increases.  A speaker may not have his/her thoughts properly ordered.  The committed listener uses techniques such as 'Summarising' to ensure clear communication. We must 'want' to listen and hear what is being communicated to us.

Interest
When we are interested in a person or subject, we listen closely.  The converse is also true.  A good listener is interested in the speaker and what they have to say. Show that you are listening.

Values
Personal values have direct impact on Listening. Do you believe people have a right to a different view?  Do you believe people have a right to be heard?  If the answer to both questions is 'Yes', you are more inclined to listen.  If the answer to either is 'No', then you are likely to interrupt or be distracted.

Confidence
Listening requires confidence because we feel the other person has control. We should feel confident when listening and show it in our responses.

Are you confident, interested, committed and believe in other people's right to be heard? If you are, you will continually improve as a listener.  Listening techniques are hollow and unconvincing if you have not adopted the underlying principles.